


My Goddess

by UnrealRomance



Category: Astoria: Fate's Kiss, Labyrinths of Astoria (Visual Novel)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Displaced Character, F/M, Modern Girl in Astoria, Romance, Slow Burn, a lot of it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-05-19 23:06:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnrealRomance/pseuds/UnrealRomance
Summary: A Modern Girl in Astoria: Fate's Kiss universe.Romance with Astraeus.





	1. Chapter 1

"I don't…understand…what is happening, right now," I say.

This all feels so surreal and weird and kind of-

Painful. It's painful.

"I know, and I'm sorry about that," Alex Cyprin says. Standing before me in all their beautiful,  _real_ , glory.

Jesus Christ.

"What is going on right now?" I ask.

"We had to fill the power vacuum, and since Hera is…unavailable," they say with hesitation. "We needed a new god. So, we decided to elevate someone. I have no idea why the combined powers of the gods sought you out, so if you want to ask that question, I don't have the answer."

"Combined powers of the gods, as in they had no control over who the powers chose?" I ask. "Isn't that kinda, I dunno,  _DANGEROUS?_ "

The loud, almost-shriek takes me by surprise and I immediately apologize while trying to regulate my breathing.

"You are absolutely right, but the gods felt it was best," they respond. Hands up in a placating gesture with wide eyes.

And it's then I realize I also count in that estimation.

The Gods. Made me a God.

"Who am I?" I ask. Whispering. "What do I do? What…what am I the god of, or whatever?"

Alex shrugs, "only you would know that. It might take some time to come into your full power, but I promise that H.E.R.A. will keep you safe until you do."

"Safe from what, exactly?" What route am I in, what timeline is this?

They grimace, "that would be a very complicated answer that I don't think you want to sit through right now. I can get you somewhere to sleep and some food to eat- make you comfortable, and come back tomorrow. Trust me, you wouldn't be able to take the information in all that well right now. Your body is still adjusting to the power you've been given."

Seeing as it's hard to just listen to what they're saying  _right now_ , they're probably right. It still irritates me that I can't just ask and immediately know, but if I can't remember why anyway, what would be the point?

"Where would I be going?" I ask.

"Well…" Alex hedges on that. "You were created to fill the vacuum that Hera left behind. She was a goddess that…well, she's gone. Let's leave it at that for now. So technically you've been given the rights to all of her things on Olympus."

"Please tell me that doesn't include her husband," I deadpan.

Alex laughs and shakes their head, to my great relief. "No. No it doesn't. But Zeus will likely want to meet with you at some point after the Gods have finished resting from…all this."

"Did creating me  _hurt_  them?" I ask. "Or weaken them, somehow? Why would they do that if they're so concerned about a power vacuum or whatever?"

"It was now or never and Zeus is an impatient god," they observe wryly. "If they'd waited, it's likely we'd have been too late and they couldn't risk making themselves vulnerable. Now…would you like to see your new estate?"

They're grinning and it's nearly blinding in its intensity.

"I…guess so?" I'm still not sure what to think of all this.

It was excruciatingly painful to get here, so the 'this is a dream' conclusion is out. Hallucinations usually…aren't like this, I think.

It's all too real. So I have to conclude that it  _is_ …and do my best to move forward.

Even though this is all so fucking surreal that the real parts are almost canceled out. Like…Alex Cyprin! A demigod from a dating game? The fuck!

Just stay calm. Stay calm and breathe and just…take one step. One step and then another. That's all I can do right now.

"Let's go," I say. Curling my arms around myself and nodding at Alex.

They smile and gently lead me with a hand in the middle of my back, out of the great throne room/hall place where the gods usually sit to do godly meetings and shit.

Do they just call it the meeting room? I can't remember right now.

I was in such screaming agony, and then it was over and my whole body ached and…and there I was.

At the feet of the greek pantheon from Lovestruck. And for about two whole seconds I thought I'd died and this was supposed to be my afterlife.

But then the second wave of pain hit me and it was obvious that this was not the afterlife. And if it was, I was in hell.

The pain dissipated somewhat when Alex appeared, and as the gods were led away by other people- looking exhausted but not pained, the lucky bastards- they soothed me and helped me to make sense of what was happening.

And now I still have no damn idea what's going on…but at least I'm slowly acclimatizing to the pain that's wracking my body.

Every once in a while a crest of it will overtake me and I have to stop while Alex mutters comforting words to me and strokes my hair and- holds me, because I cannot stand up through all of it.

"This will pass, I promise you," they whisper when I shiver and sob. "Your body just can't handle all this power right now."

They have to carry me the rest of the way because a quarter of the way there, I just…go limp and can't move.

It takes me forever to pass out and when I do, I realize I'm cocooned in silk sheets and have no memory of being put between them.


	2. Chapter 2

"So let me get this straight," I begin. Sipping at the tea that was served to me- apparently spiked with Ambrosia, which is supposed to soothe my aches and pains.

Almost immediately there  _is_  some relief, but I have…bigger issues to worry about right now.

"I was created because the Titans have begun causing a ruckus in Tartarus, trying to get the Gods attention?" I ask.

"They've been trying to get out," Alex replies. "A select few of them are strong enough to come to earth if they can bypass the barrier. We can't let that happen."

"Why not?" I ask.

They sigh, "a long time ago, there was a war-"

"I know about the war. I know about the Titans and the 'treaty'," I cut them off. "But aren't these Titans like…descendants? So why do they have to stay down there?"

Alex is at a loss for a moment, but regroups quickly. "The treaty terms were that all the Titans would stay in Tartarus and not make any trouble."

"And you made that Treaty with the last generation," I insist. "I don't care how old school you guys are, new systems have to be put in place to replace the old."

They sigh, "I agree with you. But the Gods don't want any of them getting up here in the meantime."

"What do they want to do with them if they can keep them down there? You can't just ignore something like this," I apparently have a stake in all this now and gods be damned if I'm gonna be quiet about it.

"Well…" they hesitate. "Zeus will likely take this as intent to breach the Treaty and try to convince the rest of the Pantheon to exterminate them."

My whole body goes cold.

I think they notice, because they hasten to reassure me. "Hades will never agree to that when nothing has been damaged and no one's been hurt, so as long as we can keep them in Tartarus- he'll never throw his support behind that. And Hades has a lot of sway around here."

"What about the other gods, what are their stances on this?" I ask.

They shrug, "you'd really have to ask them all. And they're not quite ready to introduce themselves just yet."

"Can I go see them anyway?" I ask. "Or do I have to wait?"

An embarrassed expression and a blush appear on Alex's face, "…uh…I guess you could go and see a few of them. My mother probably wouldn't mind and Hades is a workaholic who's got nothing to do right now, so he might-"

"Can I go now, or are they too weak for visitors?" I ask.

I'm a little excited to meet Hades and Aphrodite. They're the two most level-headed and nice gods on the Pantheon.

Poseidon seemed okay from what I saw of him but like…

I'd rather stick with the ones I know and ask them who to meet next and go from  _there_.

Alex stands up from the chaise and looks briefly flustered as they set set down their tea mug and clear their throat. "Sure I can, I can take you to where my mother resides first. Probably better to…"

"I'd love to meet her," I respond, standing up and chugging down the last of my tea.

They chuckle at me as I put the mug down and chase after them as they leave the sitting room.

Hera's place is huge. About as huge as Hades's or any of the other gods, I'd have assumed- but no. Apparently Hera insisted on the smallest home she could get without Zeus throwing a bitch fit over her not taking her queen of the gods role seriously.

Insert. Eyeroll. Here.

"Now, we can go the long way…" Alex says with a twinkle in their eyes as they glance back at me. "Or we can take the shortcut that's reserved for gods and demigods."

"Is it gonna hurt?" I ask, immediately.

They cough and shake their head, "no. No. We'd be…using the power of Olympus, not personal stores of…"

"Alright, then," I agree easily. If it's not gonna exacerbate my condition, I see no reason why not.

And I am  _impatient_.

Grinning, they lead me onto a kind of…tram, thing? I have no idea what to call it. It's like a train or tram through like, San Francisco- but it's a lot more…

Luxurious.

Still open to the air and everything, but with plush seats, tables piled with goodies…wow. The Gods sure do hate to be even mildly inconvenienced, huh?

Plopping into an open seat, I flinch at the way the impact of my ass to the cushion makes my whole body shudder with pain.

Okay ow. Going to sit more carefully from now on, thanks.

Then I pluck a small fig newton-looking cookie off a plate and pop it in my mouth.

Alex sits across from me and watches with a smile. "Like figs?"

"Fig…cookies," I say once I've swallowed. "Sweet but not sugary, subtle flavor…it's good."

"Notice anything special about them?" they ask. Eyes glimmering with mischief.

"...no?" I tilt my head.

"They're specially made by people working directly under Demeter, goddess of the harvest," they chuckle. "Made with the sweetest and finest fruits and vegetables," they gesture at the other plates as they say this. "Grown by our very own in the richest earth-"

"The gods take all the highest quality stuff for themselves," I cut them off and smile. "I kinda figured that already."

There's some surprise and another flush drifts across their face, "I. Yes, well, I suppose…"

I didn't mean to make them feel self-conscious or embarrassed, I just really didn't want to hear about the gods and their endless hunger for fine things they never share with anyone else.

"Uh, how about Persephone?" I ask. "I've heard she's nice and she's Demeter's daughter, right?"

Alex is relieved at the topic change, "oh. Yes, Demeter and Zeus, actually."

"What's her purview as a Demigod?" I ask. "Or yours?"

"Oh well we don't really…have one, specifically," they shrug. "We're offshoots of our parents' power, so our abilities either mirror or directly relate to their own."

"But doesn't that mean you have your own specific niche?" I ask. "Like…I mean, what's your powers relate to?"

They cough and look mildly embarrassed again, "well. My mother has the power of charisma, attraction, love, infatuation…anything that has to do with that, so that all…radiates from me, without my needing to do…anything."

I wait patiently as the tram moves through Olympus, for Alex to find the rest of their words while nibbling a fig cookie.

"I guess you could say I have good instincts?" They go on. "Following your heart is a literal power of mine, I mean."

They're so cute when they're flustered.

"And Persephone?" I ask.

"I don't really know, you'd have to ask her," they shrug. "She's a great cook, I know that much." Grinning, the last of their embarrassment seems to fade away in the wake of the new area we've just arrived in. "Well, here we are! What do you think of Aphrodite's little slice of paradise?"

I think it's lush. I think it looks rich.

I think no one back on earth has anything anywhere near this decadent and I think I kind of hate that.

But I just smile blandly and try to ignore my gut twisting at yet another sign of the Gods believing themselves above everyone else. More worthy than anyone else, of all these fine things.


	3. Chapter 3

I have to chug about five Ambrosia teas throughout the day to keep my symptoms managed and that doesn't keep the waves of pain from intensifying all of a sudden and crashing over me like the ocean beating against some rocks…

And I shouldn't have used that metaphor because I remember it from the game and now I'm thinking about him again.

Groaning and leaning on the wall in the shower, I turn my thoughts somewhere else. After all, with the god powers or whatever, who knows if I have the ability to just…bring him up here with a thought.

…

Which I am not contemplating right now. It's inadvisable.

The Titans would be blamed and that wouldn't go well.

Beyond that, the fact that he'd be very shocked to be suddenly on Olympus and might react badly is too great.

I want to see him. But I don't want it to be now, when everything is precarious.

"Hey, you okay in there?" Alex's voice comes through the bathroom door.

I forgot they were waiting on me. We're going to see Aphrodite again. I just had to get a shower, I felt gross. How does that even work? Gods with godly powers and yet they still need to shower and…

"I'm fine!" I call back. "Just feels really good to be clean!"

After a short shuffle with a towel, I throw on one of the flowy sundresses that was in Hera's closet and slip into some open toed shoes.

And then it's a short hop-skip-jump on the tram across to Aphrodite's place, having pleasant conversation with Alex the whole way about the other gods.

Zeus is still refusing visitors, and that's fine, because I wasn't looking to meet up with him anyway.

Hades is oddly silent and unresponsive, apparently, but Persephone tells Alex that he's fine. Just dead tired and unable to work which stresses him out more than just being weak would.

Poseidon, Ares and the other Top Tier gods are all taking this chance to go on vacation with their kids or something, which is…incredibly human.

So all there is, is Aphrodite. But that's okay, because Aphrodite is actually pretty awesome.

"My love!" she always greets Alex with an exclamation, a kiss on the cheek, a big hug and a radiant smile.

"Mother," Alex says. "We came to spend some more time with you, if you don't mind?"

"Never!" Aphrodite declares, with stars in her eyes. I think she likes the fact that Alex watching out for me means that they get to see her more often.

"I have a question about my powers," I say.

I've already asked about the other gods, about demigods and monsters…about everything I could think to ask…but I still can't figure out what kind of god I am.

I came from a mundane world with no gods, or at least no proof of gods- where all this is a visual novel. And…I have no idea how to deal with that, so I don't. Deal with it, that is. I ignore the implications of it all and just try to get through another day, learning all I can.

But I've reached a limit to what I can learn on my own about…things that I need to know.

There's things I can't ask other people- other gods, that I could probably ask Aphrodite and Alex.

"You haven't felt any inklings about what you could be for?" she asks with concern in her tone as we enter her sitting area.

She's already got tea and cookies out. Fig cookies, just for me. I'm guessing she wants to keep it simple and to something she already knows I like. Still, variety is always good and I'm craving something chocolate right about now.

Guess it'll have to wait till we get back to my place.

My…goddess palace…

"No, not really," I sit down across from her and pick at the fig cookies. Eating them in small pieces from my hands. "Nothing's speaking to or popping out at me."

"Well, there are ways to find out your purpose that go beyond simply letting it happen, but I wouldn't recommend them," she says. "It could put you into a more fragile state, the way you are now, if you were to use your own power, and I have no desire to weaken  _myself_  any further either…" She trails off and drums her fingertips on her forearm, other fingers on her lips. "But perhaps we can try something small."

She snaps her fingers and a book appears out of a puff of smoke, on the small sitting table between us.

It's always a little startling when that kinda thing happens.

Flipping open the book and pulling it onto her lap, she begins muttering to herself in Greek. That dialect that she and Alex speak in, sometimes. I can't understand any of it, but it is a pretty language.

I always wanted to learn more languages. Never really had the chance before now. Still don't have a chance, really, now that all this crap is happening.

"Alright, what is your personality?" Aphrodite begins and a quill and piece of paper appear in her hands as she pores over the book. "I have not known you long enough to objectively decide what your personality is, so you will have to tell me what you think it is and be as objective as possible."

"My…personality?" I ask blankly. "I don't…I don't really have…one of those."

Alex and Aphrodite both stare at me.

"I mean…I am what I need to be," I begin to explain. "I can be quiet or loud, studious or ignorant- it all depends on the situation, what would be best for me and…I don't have a default state that I fall to, like everyone else. At least…I don't think I do…"

"Well that…could be very helpful, or very  _un_ helpful," Aphrodite observes, scribbling down what I've said to her. "Tell me then, what are the most important virtues to you?"

"Virtues and Vices aren't…" I flick my wrist. "Everything in moderation, nothing is truly good or bad…"

"I see, I see…" she scribbles. "And what of your favorite…colors? What colors and what do they mean to you?"

"You're not gonna like the answer to that one either," I say. "Blue and Red are my favorite colors, usually paired with Black or Green. Mostly because they contrast each other. And each color can mean a whole lot of things, depending on the situation."

Alex is shaking their head, looking amused, "versatile, aren't you?"

"I guess that's a word for it," I reply.

"Is there anything that when you think of it, it moves you to great heights of passion?" Aphrodite asks, pointing the quill at me.

It's more like a pen shaped like a quill but…

"Lots of things?" I say uncertainly. "I mean, I get pretty heated about social justice and-"

"Justice?" Alex asks with some surprise. "Mother, what about-"

"Aha!" Aphrodite turns the pages as her notebook disappears, "there  _is_  a place for a Justice Goddess. Let us see…"

She puts down the book and walks over to me, flicking her wrist.

Instantly my sight is replaced with a news report I've never seen before- a man on screen is telling me about something but my brain is finding it difficult to parse what's going on.

It disappears and I have to blink away lights in my vision.

"Nothing!" she exclaims. "You should have instinctively reacted to that if Justice were your purview."

"Not really the kind of justice I was talking about…" I trail off as I recall what the man was saying. "Social Justice. Inequalities in social structures. Not like…court cases. Though those could be…involved."

"Inequalities…in…" Alex seems to be having a dawning realization of some kind while Aphrodite flips through her books.

"Alex, what's wrong?" I ask.

They swallow roughly and their mother looks up at them with concern. "Love?"

Stepping closer to me, they ask, "how do you feel…about the gods?"

Funny question to ask, seeing as I've probably snarked about them a million times now. "It…depends on the god?"

"No. The Gods. As an…institution," they say.

I sigh a little, "it's not a flattering opinion."

"It's important," they respond, firmly.

So I shrug and answer them. "They're a bunch of overpowered assholes who do whatever they want under the guise of serving humanity's interests, when really they only serve themselves."

I feel…something, and go with it.

"Zeus is a power-hungry, angry, impatient and overblown adulterer," I say, slowly standing up and turning my gaze onto the portraits on the walls. "Hades is better than him, but he's also stubborn, set in his ways and has the same mindset as the rest of the gods."

"Mother," Alex is holding Aphrodite's shoulder when I turn back around and I realize at that moment that there's a glow…in the room.

I'm glowing.

"I think maybe…she's…" Alex struggles as Aphrodite watches me with wide eyes. "Her affinity is…Power Balance?"

And everything kind of rushes out of me and into me at the same time as that glow fades and I'm a puddle of pain and tears on the floor.

What the hell was that!?


	4. Chapter 4

Apparently 'Social Justice Goddess' is a thing now.

And I am that thing.

Themis, Dike and other personifications of justice were under a…different purview.

My thing is centered around the abuse of power, and…other stuff that we went over but my brain is still spinning in circles about.

I can't believe this. I have to mete out judgments on abuses of power in H.E.R.A. now. My job starts…like…as soon as possible. When my pain levels have equalized, which should be pretty soon because the power isn't hurting me like it used to.

Why couldn't I have been a goddess of like, early morning dew or something else small, inconsequential and free of responsibilities.

I've never even had a job that wasn't on the phone before!

And now I've got an office and a desk and a bunch of files I have to go over- because as it turns out, being a goddess isn't just about snapping your fingers and letting your will be done.

There is so. Much. Bureaucracy.

And not the good, regulatory kind, either. There's a bunch of cases that are basically the equivalent to 'a god doesn't like them so they need punishment' that I have to look over and deny because the person in question did absolutely  _nothing_  meriting any kind of action.

Turning a god down when it comes to accepting a task does not count as transgressing on their godly rights, thank you very much. Fuck you, Zeus.

It's all a bit much, and I just…want to get away, for a while. I want to go somewhere where there are no gods, so that my fate can sink in, and…that's when I get…a terrible idea.

Everyone knows about my creation in H.E.R.A., all the godly monsters, all the demigods. So I can't go anywhere on Earth where they might find me.

I can go to a club, but there won't be anything there for me and it'd be…more stressful than relaxing.

So my options are limited. But I do know one place I could probably go, if I went…low-key. And it would probably be safe and I might not get recognized if I…

Well I don't wanna be dramatic and do a whole disguise, but make-up and different clothes couldn't hurt.

Since I can't get out of Olympus on my own because I have no idea where to go to even get to the gate- this place is seriously labrythine -I need someone to lead me out. But in order to get someone to lead me out, I'd have to come up with a story for where I'm going…

Or at least I'd have to be able to distract them and if I fix myself up  _before_  I go and my story doesn't match my outfit and make-up, they might get suspicious.

And like, I'm not doing anything _wrong_ \- I just want to go somewhere and not be me for a while. Have no one know who I am.

But there is one person I wouldn't mind knowing…what I'm doing and why.

So I call them. On my…Hera's…phone. In her huge estate.

Which is smaller than everyone else's even though I can't see how. Maybe they just mean she has one less floor or something, who knows.

"Hey there, something you need?" Alex's voice on the other end is chipper, so I guess telling them they should get back to work at H.E.R.A. HQ was the right call to make.

They seem happier to be on Earth.

"I want to go to Earth but I don't know how to get there," I reply. "Can you help me out? Or send somebody for me?"

"Sure, I can have an agent sent to your Estate," they say.

"Can I ask for someone personally?" I ask.

"Sure, but they might be busy, who did you want?"

"May?" I ask. "Black hair, kind of upbeat and wears bright pastels?"

"Oh sure, I know her," they say. It sounds like they're flicking through files. "I'll give her clearance and send her over."

"Thanks, Alex!" God, that was easy. Wayyy too easy. "Let her know I need to go shopping and somewhere else, but if she needs to be anywhere I'd be willing to go with her."

"I'll make sure she knows, she should be over in about a half hour, once she's tied up all her work for today." That makes me reconsider but Alex says goodbye and hangs up before I can say anything.

I don't want to interfere with her work, but…

Well, Alex knowing I'm going to Earth and May knowing what cosmetics and clothes I'm gonna buy makes it a lot less likely that anyone else will find out. Except maybe May's boyfriend but I can ask her just to not mention me to anyone and she likely won't.

It won't be that eventful of a trip.

Is what I thought before May picked me up.

The whole way to Earth and then to the car, she was subdued and gave me polite smiles, but she didn't act like herself.

Which brought to mind how she acted in Astraeus's route, like she was…kind of afraid.

And I don't have the benefit of having known her for years to fall back on to help her not be afraid, so it's mostly just awkwardness until we get to the store…and I realize we have something in common that I can use.

"So you want to look good to catch a monster date?" she's grinning.

And I'm blushing. "I just- I don't want anyone to know who I am and…monsters would be safer than humans to be around, right?"

She nods excitedly, "yeah I mean, they already know about the Gods and everything-"

"I don't want them to know I'm a goddess," I say. "I know there's ways for them to just- know. But in that case, I just…I wanna look like someone else. And I'm not looking for a date."

That part embarrasses me, because I  _was_  going to tell her that I liked a monster, to get her to relax around me. But I figured that would be a bad idea- especially seeing as the monster I'd have described to her would've fit the description of someone who might show up at some point and then she'd know and she might consider it important to tell Alex-

I just didn't wanna open that can of worms.

"Well…who do you want to look like?" she asks, with a bright smile.

More relaxed now that we've established I'm not scary, I guess.

"I…" I want to look like him, to be honest. Black with accents of bright colors have always appealed to me, especially if it looks punk rock. "Something dark and mysterious, and kind of Goth Punk? Make-up that'll make me look fierce and kind of dangerous? Maybe a wig in a bright color or something…"

"Okay but what color are we going with?" she asks as we browse the selection of clothes in the shop she's chosen for this occasion.

"Uh…" my eyes alight on a small poster on one of the walls.

A sakura tree sits over a pair of young lovers as they feed each other in a park.

"Pink," I say without thinking. And then promptly turn the color I just spoke.

"Well there's lots to choose from, then!" she announces and immediately begins pulling outfits off racks that are astonishingly different for having the same theme and color scheme going on. "What fabric do we want?"

"Leather and silk," I'm really getting into this. Might as well go the whole way if I'm gonna do this.

"Oooh," she giggles. "This is going to be a  _look_."

Later, once we've gotten everything, the make-up is the most difficult part.

The wig? Easy to learn to attach and detach. The clothes? Uncomplicated as possible, they even have snaps and zippers instead of buttons.

But the make-up took me about a half hour to perfect at May's apartment, because I couldn't even decide on what I wanted.

When I eventually did, it made me incredibly embarrassed but determined.

If I couldn't have him near me, then wearing everything that'd remind me of him was the next best thing.

White belt, with sakura petals on it. White boots- that match.

Everything else is black except my hair and make-up. My hair is bright pink and kind of looks like that 'do that Jareth had in the Labyrinth.

My make-up is pure white, with pink applied to my eyelids in the shape of- you guessed it -sakura petals.

Lips done up in bright pink, too.

When I'm done, I look…well, I look like a very punk rock chick who likes flower petals and the color pink.

Which I would usually hate, because I dislike pink and the only flowers I tend to like are like…the oddly shaped and ethereal looking ones…

But  _he_ …loves Sakura petals.

And pink, apparently, as a consequence. And I do-

I do like  _him_.

"You. Look. Amaze- _ing,_ " May is grinning from ear to ear when I come out of the bathroom. "So what's your super secret code name for your new identity?"

I hadn't even thought of that. I don't even have a goddess name yet and I refuse to use my old name here- it feels…wrong, just to contemplate it.

I don't have to think for long, though.

"Just…call me Sakura."


	5. Chapter 5

"You look tired," Alex observes.

It's the morning after I debuted as Sakura. Everyone at the Boarback was accommodating and excited to see a new face- though the excitement died down pretty fast and I was able to just relax for a few hours before I had to get back to Olympus.

May's offered up her apartment as a waystation where I can change and take a shower before and after doing my thing.

And the Boarback isn't the only place I want to go, it's just…the safest place for right  _now_.

"A lot of stuff's been happening, haven't had the chance to adjust, yet." It's not quite a lie. And I'll be able to pin down times better from now on, I hope.

"That's actually one of the things I wanted to discuss with you," Alex says and shuffles some papers onto my desk. "Here's a list of people from H.E.R.A. who might be willing to work for or with you in your cases. Agents, Freelance contractors, everyone I could dig up a dossier on. Feel free to pick out a team to handle whatever spillover there is."

That's…okay. "Is…are there godly monsters and Demigods in there?"

They blink, "that's about all there is at H.E.R.A.. We have a few humans on staff but not…a  _lot_."

I pick up the stack and flip through it. Luckily it's been alphabetized.

( _Hydra…_ )

He doesn't like the Top Tier Gods and likely won't agree if I ask over the phone and introduce myself as the new goddess…

"Hey Alex, can I work on this…alone? Without H.E.R.A.'s influence?" I look up with a smile. "Like, if I go through a middleman for things…can I do it through the middleman I choose?"

"As long as it's one of the people in those files, I don't see a problem. But can I ask why?" they look more than a little curious.

"I dislike some of the people in charge at H.E.R.A…." I drawl. "More specifically one demigod in particular…"

Alex's expression glints with understanding and irritation, "some of them  _can_  be…a little difficult to work around. I understand. Just let me know if you need help at any time."

"Sure. I've gotta go down and talk to them personally, I think, so could you walk me out of the H.E.R.A. office?" I could just go to May's and then call a car from there.

Best to go see Hydra as Sakura, rather than the goddess of social imbalance and power structures.

Damn it, what should my goddess name be? Everyone's just kinda awkwardly referring to me as 'the new goddess' or 'goddess of power imbalance' or something similar and…just…ugh.

"Sure, come on, we'll swing by my office and I can give you something…" they smile. "Something you're going to want to have for any future movements on earth."

Now I'm both curious and kind of worried. "Is earth particularly hazardous to Top Tier Gods and demigods and the like? Did you get me some kind of weapon?"

I won't deny, my eyes are probably sparkling.

Alex laughs, "I guess you could say that? Your artifact's been finished."

I blink, "m…what?" That's…no way. "I thought Artifacts were like…I dunno, that you'd make them yourself or that they'd manifest with your powers or something."

"Must've forgotten that research," Alex sighs. "With all the rest of the things you wanted to learn, needed to learn, I guess…I overlooked that one. It just seems so obvious to me, I'm sorry."

I shrug. "You've known this stuff your whole life, and I haven't. Some things are bound to slip through the cracks every once in a while."

"Yeah I guess," they reply with a smile. "I'll take you down, then. Let's go."

On the way to H.E.R.A. HQ, Alex explains that Cyclops makes all the artifacts. Which I was not expecting.

Apparently they started on a new one for me before I was even made a god. Cyclops was working on something from the time they decided to get a new god and wouldn't show it to anyone, apparently some kind of instinct taking him over-

That apparently only ever happens when working on a god's artifact. The Artifacts made for monsters and demigods are…different.

"So he just knew what my artifact should be?" I'm a little nervous about that. What if it ends up being something I hate? Like a fuzzy pink scarf or something?

"Cyclops is the designated creator of the most powerful artifacts ever made, he's…" they hedge and hesitate as we go down in the elevator. "He's never been wrong about what an artifact shape should be to reflect the power within."

"Well that's kinda reassuring I guess," I say.

The doors ding and open, and there's…a long procession of agents from the elevator to a room nearby.

"Alex?" what the hell is going on?

They chuckle a little, "sorry, I forgot to tell you. This is kind of…it's like a ceremony, it's…tradition. Important, you know."

"Right…" I droop a little at that. I hate traditions.

Not all of them are terrible, but usually 'tradition' is used an excuse for…bad things. A lot. And they tend to be long-winded and boring…that's not so great either.

But well…all my experiences with 'tradition' have been christian ones. Maybe a Greek tradition will be different.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> updating twice because the chapter before this was super short.

"Um. I…hello," I'm nervous. I'm so nervous.

Astraeus is my favorite, but Hydra is hot as fuck. I don't know what to do with myself around hot people.

I can barely look Alex in the eye and I have to look off to the side to speak to Aphrodite.

And I'm not even attracted to Aphrodite!

"Hello…" he's staring up at me from his desk, looking a little incredulous. "…are you…lost?"

I mean, a woman in leather and belts and make-up and neon hair like mine…I can't blame him for being confused. All the godly monsters seem really…vanilla.

Astraeus is the one who wears leather armor and carries around a Katana. Everyone else wears like…suits and polo shirts and crap.

Anyone who might have business with him probably doesn't dress like me.

Smiling uneasily, I respond, "no…I came to talk to  _you_ …I'm just…not sure how to start."

At the prospect of a new client, he immediately straightens in his office chair and gestures at the chairs in front of his desk. "Why don't you have a seat and take a minute to gather your thoughts?"

God, he's just the best.

Slumping into the seat before his desk, I take a moment to really take in the office. It looks different from how it did in the game. Beyond the whole 'it's actually real now' thing- there's several small, homey touches that weren't depicted, I think.

Or maybe I just never noticed them before because the background was less important to me than the characters.

There's little snake pen-holders and stuff like that. His mouse pad even has a snake on it.

"Why don't you start with your problem?" he says.

I jolt out of my examination of his desk and blink at him, turning pink. I'd forgotten to get my thoughts together like he'd suggested so I fumble for words for a minute. "I…I need someone to work with me on something. I…I just started working on Olympus and I'm not…I'm not used to how things work up there  _or_  down here…I was a regular human before all this happened."

"Must've been something to get an Aura like that as a human," he says, watching me carefully.

I duck my head a little and my shoulders lift in a shrug. "They just kind of…gave it to me."

"Forced it on you, you mean?" he sounds very questioning, like he's certain but waiting for confirmation.

"Well…they didn't ask my permission first," I reply. "If they had, I would've taken it. I mean…" I lift my head to smile a little. "Adventure? Mystery? Greek Mythology come to life? Who wouldn't want a piece of that magic in their life?"

Hydra watches me with a slowly furrowing brow. "Just because you would've said yes doesn't mean it wasn't wrong for them to do that," he mutters.

"I know," I reply. "But I'm choosing to look on the bright side, instead of getting angry about details I can't change."

His expression clears and he nods, a small smile curving his mouth. "Can't tell you not to do that. As long as you're aware…" he shrugs.

"Right, so…have you heard about the new goddess they created?" I ask in a probing attempt to get Hydra's unbiased thoughts.

He nods, while rolling his eyes. "Huge fanfare in the community, like it's a special occasion."

"Even the monster community?" I ask, confused. "I'd understand the demigods, but…"

"Every system makes itself look like a good idea," he says. "Some buy into it more than others."

"And nice holidays that you remember having with your family makes it all seem…so domestic and nice," I mutter.

His head tilts.

"I was raised Christian," I reply to his look.

He actually snorts. "You say that like it's an entire explanation."

"Isn't it?" I quirk a brow and smirk. Then immediately lose my cool, turn pink and avoid eye contact. "I mean…not  _all_  Christians are terrible…but it's…similar."

"You'd be the one to know, not me," he says flippantly. "Now…what about the new goddess?"

"Do you know what she's goddess  _of_?" I ask. "I mean, her purview?"

Talking about myself in the third person is weird.

"Heard it was judgment or something," he shrugs once again. "Doesn't really concern me."

"It's…social and judicial equality and balance, actually," I reply. "She's concerned the Olympians have too much power over everyone and…she needs people working for her to check the balances."

That makes him sit forward in his seat and plant his hands on the edge of his desk, staring at me intently. "She wants to 'check' the gods' power?"

"Yeah I think they fucked up pretty good not really knowing what kind of god they were creating," I say with a smile. "She knows of you and that you…" I search for words for a minute before deciding on the obvious. "She wants to deal with Hercules. Sooner rather than later, as he's…the most dangerous at the moment. He's prominent, actively hunting auras…she does  _not_  want him becoming a god. And she thinks you can find the evidence that will prove he's not fit."

He sits back in his seat in a slouch at that. "She does, does she?"

"We have reason to believe that Megara is still around," I say.

That makes him go still and watch me with his eyes kind of…oh shit, did his pupils just go split?

"And that she might have evidence that Hercules stole his first aura…unlawfully," I flinch. "I don't really think Auras should be stolen lawfully to begin with, but…there ya go."

He chews his lip for a moment, and god that's-

Just  _stop_  looking at him.

"So she needs me because I'm close to Meg." He says. And his expression is blank.

"There's other people close to Meg, I'm sure. You're…" I hesitate. "She just  _knows_  that you'd be the one to ask. That you wouldn't quit until you'd finished, if you'd even take the job to begin with."

"She knows I don't care for the gods much." He says.

"She's hoping you'll overlook your usual disdain in favor of doing something about Hercules, yes." I reply.

Inhaling deeply and then exhaling, he works his jaw. "What kind of resources can I have access to?"

"She'd prefer not to involve H.E.R.A. at all, but if you call and ask for Alex Cyprin- they can hook you up with whatever you'd need. She's already informed them to be expecting your call if you decide to take the job. Otherwise…" I shrug. "Otherwise, she'll have to go looking for someone else."

"And send you to talk to them?" he says. With no expression.

"She thought you might appreciate not having a goddess in your office," I say. I'm turning pink again.

I hate this secretive, double-life thing already. Great for unwinding, not so great for…anything else.

"I might've appreciated it more if she'd been here in person…" he plays with a pen between his fingers. "But I don't blame her for coming to that conclusion, and trying to…" He almost seems to be choking on the next part. "Be…considerate."

"Wow, you must really wanna wreck Hercules because that look like it hurt," I say it without thinking.

And he laughs really loudly. "You're not wrong."


	7. Chapter 7

My Artifact doesn't get sealed up in the Gods' vault, as I'm kind of…anxious about that.

I don't know how many of the storylines will be happening here, but I really don't wanna make myself vulnerable. If someone wants my artifact, they'll have to go through me to get it.

Which is not actually saying much, as I have no idea how to even  _use_  my godly abilities…

"Hey," Alex walks into my office through the open door and smiles. "I got in contact with your new agent and gave him the files he asked for. Seemed pretty keen on his work, I think you made a good choice."

"I know I did," I smile. "He'll get what he needs…hell or high water," I sigh the last part. "I'm actually kind of worried he might end up doing something drastic…"

"Sometimes drastic is good," Alex says with a quirked brow and a little smirky grin. "Anyway, he's sent through profiles on some other godly monsters he wants you to approve. People he wants to get to work on your cases right away."

Taking the files, I flick them open to see if there's any familiar faces. And there are. Medusa, great. But uh….

Ugh. Why is Hydra so compassionate towards Ladon? I hate this, because saying no will probably make him upset, but I don't want that creep anywhere near me or my authority…

Which is probably hilarious considering my favorite love interest kidnapped me a few times but- I mean, the writers never made the characters consistent and he wasn't sleazy in the way Ladon was. He used poetry to try and talk the main character into ditching Hades, not come on's or anything. Well.

Poetry and the Truth.

I guess this is before Hercules goes after Ladon because his file says nothing about it…

"Hang on, I have to call him," I pick up the phone on the desk and dial Hydra's office number which is speed dial one. I can't remember numbers for the life of me.

Alex walks out of the room and closes the door to give me privacy, taking the stack of finished paperwork with them as they go. I've been doing it all morning and did a lot last night, too. I've got  _so much_  to dig through…

"Something wrong?" his voice on the other end is kind of like a sigh.

"It's Sakura," I say with a smile. Realizing he was expecting the goddess. I can't reveal myself yet and I have no idea how to hide my aura or anything, so I stay away from places where demigods and gods of Olympus hang out when I'm Sakura. Never occurred to me to change my voice, before. I really should. "About Ladon…"

"What about him?" a bit of defensiveness has crept into his tone.

"I've…noticed, he's kind of…" I sigh. "I saw him harassing women in bars before and I don't like him."

There's a pause. "I wasn't aware he harassed anyone."

"He says…sleazy things," I say. "I haven't seen him touch anyone but I wouldn't be surprised. I just…he makes me really-"

"Uncomfortable?" his tone is less off now. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"I figured you probably didn't know he was…like that…sometimes." I fumble for something else to say. "Um-"

"So-"

We both laugh and the tension dissipates.

"Alex says you wanted us to choose more people, but Ladon was really the only one we had a problem with. If you want to hire all of them and put them to work, we don't have a problem with that," I say.

Having to talk like there's always two of me is difficult.

"If he's the only problem you have and your boss is okay with the people I chose, I think we're actually going to work well together," he sounds so pleasantly surprised it makes me smile.

"We trust you, and you picked them," I shrug. "Your work speaks for itself."

Even though all I know of it is from files and a visual novel. Still. He's damn good at his job, that detail is one hundred percent the same.

"I…thank you," he replies. Sounding really odd. "We'll have a lot of these casefiles resolved by the end of the week, with the criteria you gave us. Most of this really  _is_  just a misuse of godly authority and power. Only a few of the cases could be contested and of those-"

"I know, I read them all before sending them over to you," I don't want to be rude, but my brain will explode if I talk about this any more. "But I really wanted to ask you, since you've got access to online H.E.R.A. archives now…if you wouldn't mind digging something up for me? Inconspicuously as possible?"

There's a silence on the other end and then Hydra sounds  _really_  serious. "What would I be digging up?"

"Any and all information on the Titans," I respond. "If you can print it out or put it on a usb or something and get it to me, I'd be really appreciative. I know I could go looking myself, but…"

But I'm not sure how many other people are monitoring me and at least this way I could pass it off as a test of my new employees' research skills.

"I can do that, but I'm gonna need to know why," he says.

"I'm…curious about them," I respond. "All the originals are gone by now, aren't they? So shouldn't we be…letting the second and third and on generations…out?"

There's a beat of silence. "I'm not sure that would be…the best idea. But I'm not sure it wouldn't be, either…so I guess I'll help. Can't hurt to have more information, after all."

"Exactly what I was thinking," I grin so hard it hurts. A million tons just got lifted off my shoulders…


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll can thank Seulgi008 for this update as they reminded me to look back into my files and I had an update already finished for this damn story and hadn't posted it yet.
> 
> So here's the update you were askin' me about!
> 
> This is why I say comments help keep me going because sometimes I just straight up forget something is already ready or that it exists anymore.

It occurred to me after a while that my yearning was going to get me in trouble.

I kept thinking about the Titans I knew. Helios, Selene… _him_. And a little pang grew inside my chest every time. So I had to think of some way to manage it.

"Transporting objects of a magical nature or otherwise…" Hades is up to visits now, so I'm not only getting help from the Goddess of love anymore. Which is a relief, really, because as amazing as Aphrodite is…she can be a little…

Much? Energetic people kind of exhaust me, though I am endeared to them a lot.

Hades is quieter, more withdrawn. More like me. Easier.

"...is very simple, but can be a bit draining. Especially as you've never tried it before." He says as he places a single pomegranate on the floor in front of me. He then walks to the other end of the room and makes a seat with his hands for the fruit. "Attempt to place it just  _above_  my hands. Let it fall into them."

I wonder if I might accidentally clip the fruit  _into_  his hands if I'm not careful, which creates a whole new level of anxiety.

Hades is one of the gods I don't  _completely_  hate, regardless of the way he's portrayed in Astraeus's route. It seemed so out of character…but then they all do in every route, depending which one you played first.

I played Astraeus's route first, but still Hades didn't seem…right.

Focusing on the pomegranate and letting my breath even out as I close my eyes and imagine the shape of it and the cradle of Hades's hands…I gently push my aura outward toward the fruit to wrap around it and then-

"Ah." That is not a pleased sound.

I open my eyes and see half a pomegranate in Hades's hands. Dripping seeds everywhere.

Covering my face with both of my hands, I groan. "I swear I was really focusing this time!"

"It is progress," he says while walking back toward me, putting the half next to the other. "And now you can practice fixing broken things," he says. Smiling just a little, though it's hard to tell since his expressions are so subtle.

"You're one of those silver linings people, huh?" My hand hovers over the fruit and I imagine the skin becoming smooth and unblemished, sewing the ends together like they're healing naturally…

Though what I get is a weirdly oblong pomegranate.

I glare at it.

Hades makes a noise that's like a laugh that he covers by clearing his throat.

"Why doesn't stuff just do what I want it to?" I ask, petulantly. "What use is being a goddess if I can't even make  _fruit_  bend to my will?"

Hades sighs in a way that is definitely not trying to hide how much he wants to laugh at me. "The Gods are powerful, but it took time to hone our skill and gain the wisdom necessary to do these things. Often it takes more than mere whim to do something. You have to really want it."

I think about that and then hover my hand over the pomegranate.

Knowing Hades loves the chocolate covered seeds and feeling my slight affection towards him, can I use that?

"What if I need something I don't have…will it just…will itself into existence or is that not a thing we can do?" I'm so confused where the lines are.

"It might simply disappear from somewhere it already exists," he says. "Why?"

"Just checking," I focus on the image of the pomegranate seeds inside drying out and when the skin starts to crack, I picture chocolate oozing into the insides…just enough to cover all the seeds. And I assume I'll be taking it from, like….the kitchens of the gods? Where Persephone and Demeter work, I guess?

My luck, I'm stealing chocolate from a kid's halloween stash. Or maybe I'll end up with mud.

Hades looks at the pomegranate curiously when I'm done.

"Crack it open," I say and shrug. "If it worked, it'll be a neat surprise. If it didn't…maybe angle it away from your person."

He chuckles softly and reaches out, snapping his fingers. The pomegranate's top disintegrates and we can see directly into it from above.

And holy hell how the fuck-

"It would seem you are very instinctive and do in fact need motivation and a personal connection to do something," Hades says, plucking out one of the perfectly coated seeds and looking at it. "How did you know?"

I think he's blushing.

Oh, right. That was his dirty secret. He's a health and fitness guy.

"I sometimes…just know things," I shrug and try not to look directly at him. "The gods sometimes just know things right?"

He clears his throat, "not usually things like this…but yes. It does tend to happen…"

Then his phone chimes and he sighs.

"Time for you to get back to bed and me to leave?" I ask with some disappointment. I was making real progress!

"I don't want to rest anymore," he makes a face. "I'm ready to claw at the walls."

"Well…we could do something else, so long as you're not working, right?" I ask with a smile. "You can eat the seeds while I practice my aura training- give me pointers."

Something eases in his expression and the set of his shoulders. "I think that would be…relaxing, yes."

And then we both laugh because we know Persephone probably wouldn't see it that way. But she's left for the day to run errands, so I think we can get away with it.

I have to learn this as quickly as possible. Not just the Aura stuff but the other stuff too. I figured out, that if I could have some kind of interaction with them, I'd focus my energy on  _that_  instead of them, themselves.

Which would mean less chance of me accidentally summoning them. Which is good.

So what would I want to do? Well…I do remember they like things. Like sweets and flowers in Helios and…Astraeus's case.

I don't feel safe thinking his name, ever. But sometimes I just can't help it and it feels…

Different than it used to, that's for sure.

What about Selene though? I can't remember her liking anything except like…having adventures and smashing things.

Maybe a book with action and adventure? Maybe a portable DVD player that runs on batteries and some movies?

I don't know. I'll think of something. For all of them.


	9. Chapter 9

I finally figured out what I could get Selene.

Going out as Sakura is always a little nerve-wracking, even if it  _is_  also really freeing. And it helps that I have friends who are always willing to take me places if I ask.

May was busy…with Bruno…so I had to ask someone else this time.

"You like this stuff?" Hydra is eyeing a manga with two women on the cover.

It's a Yuri title and I quickly snatch it and put it back. "No! Yuri and Yaoi are both...no. I'm looking for an adventure series, something with lots of action and maybe a little romance, but that's…negotiable."

After all, I dunno if Selene even likes romantic stuff. She wasn't on the LGBT list as Aro, but that doesn't really mean she couldn't be or anything. Maybe she's a lesbian, maybe she's ace…who knows with the Lovestruck series.

But adventure? Adventure and Action. That's the goal.

Everything else I can do myself. I mean…

Astraeus likes poetry, so I could just write him some. I'm usually pretty good at that kind of thing. Maybe just buy a poetry book and send him one page at a time.

Helios, I can bake for.

Once I figure out how to send things to Tartarus without killing someone… I really do not want to accidentally clip a poetry book through Astraeus's head by accident.

Thinking about it makes me want to laugh and cringe at the same time, because it's just such a bizarre image.

"What about this one?" he lifts a manga from a rack and presents it to me. "Pirates on the cover."

I snort a little and take it from him to read the blurb and then page through it to make sure it's not like…ecchi or something.

But it's actually about a woman pirate captain! Which is great. She also seems to be bisexual, if I'm reading the blurb right…

A story about noble pirates who sail the sea to steal from those who'd oppress them and follow a code…yeah, I think this works!

"It's great, thanks!" I grin up at Hydra and pluck the next five volumes off the shelf before realizing I'll need a basket. "Damn, I need-"

Hydra presents me with a basket that he's been carrying around this whole time that I didn't even notice he had. The look on his face is kind of smug. "Figured you'd need one."

I can't help the way my face turns red and my brains turn to mush. He's too much, damn it. I'm just glad I don't have to interact much with the others, who are all gorgeous and make me tongue-tied.

Placing the volumes carefully into the basket, I make sure I have enough that I can start sending one every day and have at least a three week supply. Barely that, though. I'll have to find some others and…intersperse them.

"Stocking up for something?" Hydra is watching me, kind of amused.

"I just…" I fidget. "Shut up, okay?"

He barks a surprised laugh, "is that any way to talk to the guy who drove you here?"

"When he's being a jerk, yes," I reply with a pout.

"How am I being a jerk, I just asked a question!" he's grinning though. So he knows he's being a jerk.

"A jerk-y question," I rebut. "Now help me fit all these into the basket so we can buy them and go."

It takes some creative stacking to get all the volumes into the basket and in the end I just grab like five first issues of different manga I want to look into later for possible future purchase and slap them on top instead of trying to fit any more full series in there.

"Anything else we need to get?" he asks when we walk out of the shop with bags full of manga. "You have food and everything you need at your place?"

I laugh, "I'm fine on supplies, yes. I could stand to grab a few more things, but I don't want to keep you from work."

"This  _is_  work-related, technically," he says. "We're going to have to work together a lot, seeing as you seem to be…some kind of assistant? To the new goddess….what's her name, by the way? I feel like I should've known it by now."

I panic a little. "Her name? Oh uh." I nearly choke on my own saliva. "I-uh-"

"You don't know either?" he's surprised. "What, is it long and hard to pronounce or something?"

I don't know what I'm thinking. "It's- It's Eos!"

It's one of the titans we have in our world that I never saw in this one. I did a whole bunch of research into Greek Mythology to refresh my memory after I got into Lovestruck. Sister to Helios and Selene…

…wife of Astraeus.

Why did I  _blurt that_?

"Eos?" He frowns. "The Dawn? Doesn't seem very justice…oriented."

"It's her name," I deadpan. "It doesn't have to make sense. She's a new god, so…so her name isn't the basis for words or anything."

"It  _is_  an old, Greek name, though," he says. "Easy to remember, I guess."

Shit. I'm going to have to tell everyone that my name is Eos now.

I hope to god she really doesn't exist here and that it really is just Helios and Selene like it seemed at first.

Sakura and Eos. A flower and the dawn. Jesus, how did this double-life-thing get all poetic all of a sudden.


	10. Chapter 10

It's gonna take a while before I can send things to Tartarus with any kind of confidence, so for now…

For now I'm just trying to figure out what to write in this brand new notebook I bought. Because I finally decided to write some poetry- but now my brain is going completely blank.

I can't just send him love poetry, but that's the only kind that comes to mind when I think about him.

How beautiful his dark lavender eyes are. How stylish his armor is and how much I love the way his hair falls into his face.

His smile, the mischievousness in his eyes…

Gods. I'm such a love struck dork.

Okay…okay. Things he likes.

Flowers. Swords. No, not swords. He uses one, but I don't know his opinion on them. He could be ambivalent for all I know…

Flowers. That's all I've got.

Well no, I know what he likes in a woman. That's not very helpful.

…

…or is it?

I mean, what I like in a man says a lot about me, doesn't it? Rebellious, mischievous, poetic…

So what was it he said he liked? The unpredictability of her humanity?

Oh yeah, that's a bummer. I'm not human anymore, so…that stings.

I mean I never thought I had a shot with him in reality anyway, but the fantasy of it was…nice. Now I don't even have  _that_.

But still. Unpredictability. Surprises. I can work with that, right? And also…he liked it when the main character was fierce and dominating. But he also loved that she tempered that with compassion.

Okay, so…I can also work with  _that_ , but it's gonna come off…slightly spicier than I'm wanting it to.

"Hey," a knock on my doorframe has me jerking my head up and closing the journal with a snap and a blush.

Hydra smirks, "doing something?"

It takes a moment to orient myself and remember that I'm in my Sakura outfit. Right. I got an apartment complex on earth for myself and…well, lots of other people- but mostly so I'd have a place to go on earth with friends and say it was where I lived.

"I can be pulled away if it's important," I reply, surreptitiously hiding the journal. There's nothing written in it yet, but…

"You said you wanted some practice with your aura, right?" he asks.

Oh crap, I was talking to Alex about that in front of him.

"Uh…well, yes, but…" I falter. "I was thinking of practicing at H.E.R.A. where there's like, dummies-"

"That's not the kinda practice I was thinking of doing," he says. "You were talking about suppression. Hiding yourself. I think that's a useful skill for you to have, especially with the rumors going around nowadays that the Titans are pushing the boundary between Earth and Tartarus."

I freeze. Because I wasn't aware anyone outside the pantheon even knew about that. "Rumors? About the Titans? How did you hear about that?"

He shrugs, "eventually, word gets around. This is why you wanted to know more about them, isn't it?" He tilts his head at me, "or were you telling the truth about wanting to make a case for them?"

"Why would I lie?" I ask with some confusion. "Especially in  _that_  direction."

He huffs, but his lips are turned up at the end, in sort of a smirk. It's so barely there, it's hardly worth mentioning. "So? Do you want help, or not?"

"...yes, I want help." If there's anyone I want to let my Aura out in full force around- or teaching me to suppress it, it's Hydra. He's less rigid than Hades and…well, Hades knows me as Eos. I'm already going to have to change the shape and feel of my aura…if I can…just to escape detection as her.

God, why can't I just be me?

' _Because you're dealing with gods and monsters and being careful is best_.'

I hate it when my common sense trumps my personal desires, I really do.

Having an Alter-Ego has its perks, even if it is really complicated, confusing and frustrating. Because it means I can directly interact with the people I'm supposed to be helping and also I get to just, leave at the end of my work day and be someone else for a while to unwind.

I've been down to the Aura Marble cells a lot lately to spring a few wrongful arrests and take statements to try and free more. A lot of them have fairly small violations compared to others. I don't think littering should get you arrested, no matter what your record is. That's just…wrong.

I mean, that didn't happen, specifically, but it's not that much of an exaggeration, either.

"Good, follow me." He gestures and walks back out the door.

I rush to follow him, throwing my new notebook into a purse with a pen and lugging it with me. There's nothing written in it yet, so I mean, I don't have to guard it so much.

And Hydra showing up has given me another idea what I can do with it.

We don't go that far, and we don't stay that long. But at the end of it, I feel much better about the whole 'keeping myself under wraps' thing.

Hydra didn't ask me to draw out my Power, he just taught me how to tamp it down. And there it stays. Next, all I have to learn to do is how to change the feel of my power when I'm Eos as opposed to when I'm Sakura. So no one can just…feel and identify me.

But at the end of the training, after he's gone home and I'm lying like jelly in bed because the power it takes to suppress myself is  _draining_ -

I pick up that notebook and I write.

_The Earth without Gods_

_What would it look like?_

_Would we still need their Power_

_To keep the sea and sky?_

_Or have we never needed it at all_

_Would we discover we were always Free_

_And simply never flew as we were afraid to fall?_


	11. Chapter 11

"Nicely done," Hades praises me as I manage to teleport a single pomegranate from my hand to his. Perfectly placing it in his palm.

It's been maybe…I dunno, three weeks? Since I trained with Hydra…maybe a month since I became a goddess. Jesus. That's…not a lot of time.

But I've taken to my power shockingly fast. "Crack it open," I say, smiling.

Hades acts like this is normal. So it likely is. All this power at their disposal and how do they use it?

All of them are corrupt. Even the 'good' ones, like Aphrodite and Hades don't do anything to try and change things. They just work within the system set up by Hera and that's just not anywhere near enough.

Hades quirks an eyebrow, but does so, smiling in return to find the entire inside has been dried out and coated in chocolate. "You are going to spoil me with all this chocolate."

I can't help but like some of the Gods, though. Hades, Aphrodite, Persephone and even maybe Demeter. I mean, she's kind of controlling and overprotective- of course. But she seems like a nice lady besides that.

"You barely ever eat anything for enjoyment's sake. Let me shove chocolate covered pomegranate seeds down your throat to assuage my need to fuss at you. Unless you'd like me to actually start fussing?" I say.

He clears his throat and sets down the pomegranate, picking up a seed and popping it in his mouth. "No, thank you. This is very thoughtful. You were asking to learn long-distance next?"

"Yes. Sending something somewhere like…the underworld, for instance." I gesture at him. "You go there on occasion, right?"

"I do," he replies. "I suppose you want to send me more pomegranates."

"I can try teleporting one of those weird-ass smoothies instead," I reply. "but the pomegranates have less likelihood of spilling all over your head and shattering on the floor into shards of dangerous hazards to people's feet. Even if it's the underworld, I just…can't be that irresponsible with something like that."

I really can't. Who knows if dead people in the underworld can feel pain from stepping on glass? And it'd be  _eternal_.

Hades' smile is a little wider but still subtle. "I see. I shall be going there soon for a routine maintenance check. I shall have Alex put it in your schedule and one of your assistants will let you know when."

"Great. Thanks for helping me train, I know you've got a lot of work to do." I say.

He dips his head a little but it seems more in embarrassment than acknowledgment. I recall that Hades kind of seems the humble type. At least in his own route, if not everyone else's.

My phone rings and I pull it out of my pocket to answer, hearing May's voice on the other end of the line. "Hey Eos! I've got that information you asked for."

"I'll meet you at the usual place?" I ask.

"Sure!" she chirps.

We say our goodbyes and hang up and then I'm left with making excuses to Hades who seems almost disappointed to have our session cut short.

He probably penciled me in pretty precisely and now has nothing to do with the extra free time.

Oh well.

I've got places to be.

..….

"Oh my  _gods_  you look stunning!" May claps and squeals as I model my new outfit.

It's an outfit inspired by Astraeus's sense of style, but with my own spin on it. Firstly, no pink. Just deep, bloody red. Maybe rose red if you wanna be more flowery but I do not.

It's a black outfit, leather detailed with rose designs all over it that are either painted or dyed the exact shade of red that I wanted. I got it as a commission from Arachne, who- funny enough, makes all the gods and godly monsters clothes- if they're rich enough to afford it.

Apparently after Aphrodite released her from her imprisonment as a spider, she became very loyal to the Goddess. Aphrodite was only too happy to ask for a special favor and get every detail of what I wanted taken into account for the design.

Not only for its appearance, but also its effect. See when I'm wearing it, I can turn the magical enchantments on and off and when they're on- my hair gets longer and puffier and becomes the same shade of red as the accents on my armor.

In short, Sakura has become Rose. But I'm still going by Sakura. Don't wanna confuse people.

"You don't think it's too much?" I ask. Twisting and peering into the mirror to check from every angle. "It doesn't look too obviously like armor?"

She shakes her head. "Nope, looks fine to me. Now turn off the magic and let's see what you look like."

So I sigh and turn around, twisting the brooch on the front of my armor three times. It's able to spin because the fasten is separate from the spinny part. Dunno how that's done, but whatever, Arachne did that part for me because I don't have the magic control necessary to do it manually.

"Ooooh, that's a really cool effect!" May says and claps her hands together. Eyes dancing with glee. "You look like an ice queen, now. Feminine and strong and silent. But the other version looks all punk rock and bold and in-your-face."

The two different sides of my personality. It'll be a lot easier to wear this one suit of armor to be both Eos and Sakura.

I got two pairs of armor made- to confuse Arachne and everyone else into thinking that Sakura and I would be having interchangeable armor. As if I intended to have she masquerade as Eos or me masquerade as Sakura under certain circumstances.

God everything's gotta be complicated…

"So what do you want me to do with this?" May asks, picking up the armor and shaking it in front of me.

"Actually, I had an idea about that." I smile. "See, it makes my Aura different-feeling to have it in different…modes, let's call them. I can imbue someone with my Aura enough they can walk around and seem like Eos-me while  _I'm_  being Sakura- or vice versa. So if I ever need to be in two places at once…can I ask you to put it on? Your appearance will change when you wear it."

She looks at me with wide eyes and then down at the armor. "I'd be  _honored_ , Eos. It's  _beautiful_."

"Only in the case of an emergency and not without authorization," I caution. "But if you want a new wardrobe, I can also arrange for human clothes in the same style."

She grins brightly, "no it's fine. Just wearing this once in my life and being treated like a Goddess, it'll be…surreal. And of course, I won't pose as you without your permission."

I quirk an eyebrow at that phrasing and smirk wickedly. "And no using it to spice up the bedroom with your paramour, either, I think."

"EOS!" she shrieks and throws a pillow from the couch at me. "That's disgusting!"

I laugh loudly. "That's why I said it's not allowed!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who knows May the character might think she's acting out of character there at the end. Like she might just quirk an eyebrow and make the smirky face sprite and quip back at you but I like the idea of her drawing the line at something that invades someone else's privacy or autonomy instead of treating it like a joke. And Eos/Sakura only joked about it because she figured it wasn't on the table anyway.
> 
> Just in case anyone felt that was uncomfortable or anything, I wanted to explain my thoughts behind the exchange.


End file.
